04/07/04 Brian McNoldy csu-atmos

Brian writes the following adaptation of "White Christmas" for his friends to peruse. It landed in the hands of the remaining 3 board members. It is a weenie classic:

I'm dreaming of a white Easter,
just like the ones I want to know,
where treetops topple, 
and children crumble,
under the relentless snow. 

I'm dreaming of a white Easter
with every model run I see.
May your days be blinding and windy,
and may all your Easters be white!

08/27/04 Tim Vasquez Stormtrack

Tim Vasquez easily earns an award for his parody on the Swift Boat contraversy. In addition, Tim deserves even more respect, for his entry has inspired us lazy board members to kick ourselves back into gear with the Weather Weenie Of The Week Site, unofficially defunct for exactly one year now. Board member Matt Rogers has to purchase a new keyboard because he was drinking coffee whilst considering the nomination for the award. We are further impressed that the flag in the following picture exhibits realistic inflow characteristics for the supercell seen in the background. Here is Tim's entry:

The Democratic party continues to claim that John Kerry is being smeared by 
the Chase Veterans for Truth. Wednesday the Boston Globe stated: "An 
angry group of chase veterans has vowed to continue airing ads attacking 
Kerry's voting record on the national rawinsonde network." Kerry countered 
that the Secretary of Commerce, a Bush appointee, axed funding for the NOAA 
wind profiler network in 2003.

"This is an outrage," said veteran Chuck Doswell at Wednesday's Washington DC 
rally. "It is a tragic day in this nation when we, as a modern society, cannot 
even feed models with real data." Among those present included Alan Moller, 
Tim Marshall, Jim Leonard, and Lou Wicker. Following the rally they all headed 
to David Hoadley's house for prime rib and chase videos. 



"I promise that within six months, we will uncover
Iraq's equations of mass divergence," said George Bush
at a press appearance in Gage, OK Thursday.
(AP Wirephoto)

As an honorary note: Tim Vasquez has mastered the art of weenieness long ago. His web site's humor page contains, except for a couple links, some of his fine creations, including Mr. T's Storm Chase School. Why he wasn't discovered earlier is a question and mistake of the ages.

09/03/04 Matt Masarik csu-atmos

Even though Brian and Jonathon successfully conspired to make a cat 5 cake tradition, the Schubert group realized that cat 5 hurricanes are rather uncommon in the Atlantic. In order to have more junk food around the office, Schubert group members schemed for new celebration criteria. No atmospheric event was left untouched: including tornadic outbreaks, super typhoons, blizzards, etc. As for general ideas for what to eat, immediately after someone tossed out the term "vorticity treats", Matt asked: "What about vort snax?" Now, all weather events of sufficient magnitude will bring the Schubert group "Vort Snax".

09/10/04 MGR-KPBI West Palm Beach International Airport

As evacuations ensued along the eastern coast of Florida before Hurricane Frances' arrival, the following METAR appeared from KPBI at West Palm Beach International Airport (thanks to a cohort at FSU for pointing this out). We are still trying to find out who is "MGR"-weather weenie of the week.

The report:

KPBI 031753Z 03018G27KT 10SM SCT030 BKN200 32/22 A2981 RMK AO2 PK WND 03028/1741 SLP094 MGR TRIED TO STAY/WAS ASKED TO EVAC.WILL RTRN ASAP WILL NTFY NWS-TWR-MIAFSS UPON LEAVING-RTRNG TO BLDG 60005 T031702=

09/17/04 The Onion Madison, WI

For hurricane safety tips: Click Here
Supplentary Award: Tornado Safety

10/12/04 Brian McNoldy csu-atmos

A few of us were discussing a possible snow event in Fort Collins in the coming week, but our imaginations started bringing us to new levels of imminent danger. In response to Jonathan Vigh's forecast of impending snowfall doom, Brian immediately responded with the following:

Continuing in the role-playing spirit...

(oh yeah, and of course I'm the sorcerer)

Aggrate the Warrior was quick to be defeated by the giant snowflakes. Each 
large enough to crush a man's skull, his broadsword was no match. Next to 
confront the earth-bound crystals was Dendrite the Cleric. Though he was able 
to save the child and the elder from the Dark Plague back in the village of 
Forecastia, he was destined to meet his Creator that day when the snow fell.  
It was up to me, it seemed, to save Cheyenne Village from certain demise.  
Birthed nine centuries and three fortnights ago in the mountains of Blizz Ard, 
I was taught a very powerful spell from a young age.  Using the Dome of 
Protection, I was able to predict with precision the impact site of each 
massive snowflakeand move the people out of harm's way.  The Dome can move 
the accumulation of white to my home where it is enjoyed for eons to come.

Ye Ende

When we were voting on whether to give Brian another WWW award, one of our board members (Matt Rogers) responded with the following thought-provoking forecast:

 Wow.  That was Good Stuff.  I see an RPG based on weather-related events
 in the near future - people gathering around, in charge of airmasses and
 moisture budgets, hoping like hell that the twelve-sided die will give
 them a sufficiently strong PV anomaly so that they can wipe clean off the
 face of the earth an entire coastline of weather-ignorant fools on their
 next turn.  

11/12/04 Steve Hodanish nws-pueblo

An e-mail was sent out by Amy, a student representative, to the CSU Department of Atmospheric Science constituents and alumni to solicit memories and other entries for a "memory book" in honor of our beloved and retiring department secretary, Melissa Tucker. Steve Hodanish replies to Amy:

> Amy...

> Hey...if you want any Lightning e-pics to put in the book....lemmee know
> and I will send you the best images that I have. Go here to look at
> them...

> http://www.crh.noaa.gov/pub/ltg/crh_ltg_photos_index.html

A request for photos was never mentioned. It is Steve's weenie spontaneity and genuine passion that makes him the admiration of us other weenies.

11/16/04 Chris Rozoff csu-atmos

Shameless...

Well, we continue to police each other's weenie events. As new webmaster, I'm most uncomfortable with my weenie award, but I think new board member Jonathan puts it well:

Yes, he has my vote. Those were a fantastic glimpse into the inner
thoughts of a true weather weenie. His artistic work portrays the
tension and conflict between studying dynamics and experiencing them
first-hand! Oh, ode to May, when the tornadoes roam and the hail shafts
descend, causing gentle dents in your car . . . 

All this for this web site: Click Here.

12/08/04 Brenda Dolan csu-atmos

Brenda Dolan had some very interesting snacks at her MS defense. Besides the typical crackers, cheese, coffee, etc, she also had a selection of homemade cookies. The cookies were in the shapes of cumulonimbus clouds, lightning bolts, and raindrops... and were iced with gray, yellow, and blue icing. To construct these meteorological munchies, some of the cookie cutters were designed in-house from templates, while the one for the cumulonimbus cloud was forged from a cookie cutter that WAS in the shape of a flag and flagpole (imagine turning a wavy flag and flagpole 90 degrees to the right). To give you an idea what it sort of looked like, Matt Rogers saved the following cookie in his office. Here's a picture of what the cookie looked like on January 20th, 2005:

The idea, as well as altering cookie cutters to suit her needs, is an instance of genuine weenie instincts.

12/13/04 David Stokowski and Luke Van Roekel csu-atmos

This was performed by David Stokowski (playing and dressed as Professor Bill Cotton) at the CSU Atmospheric Science holiday party. Luke helped write the lyrics. It was sung to Ricky Martin's "She Bangs." Here are the lyrics to "It's RAMS."

"It's RAMS!"
Written by David Stokowski and Luke Van Roekel


Talk to me, tell me your name
You look a lot like a hurricane
You're moving east and your spinning up
Cyclogenesis!
Yeah baby!

Talk to me, tell me your sign
I will respect your vortici-tie! (a la South Park)
You're moving quick, 
and their grids are too coarse to see you
Yeah baby!

My model don't need luck, to see you slide
She'll predict your path tonight
She'll watch your updrafts rise
Until you're all rained out
She'll model you perfectly
Down to Grid 3!

It's RAMS!  It's RAMS!
Oh baby she's good! She's good!  
I go crazy!
Everybody knows she was built by me,
So she's the best model in history!

It's RAMS!  It's RAMS
Wasted by the way she's good!  She's good!
No model's grid is so fine
She reminds me that 
programming this model takes a lot of time.